15 Steps to Loving Yourself

There is an age old saying that says “the only way you can love another is by loving yourself first.” And it’s true! How can you love someone with every fibre in your being, yet you don’t love yourself? Many of us face so many obstacles with being happy with who we are. Be it our looks or the way our life is at this present moment, but we have to take the time and steps so be ok with ourselves!

1. Take Responsibility

When things go wrong in life, and they always will, you have to evaluate the situation. Before you blame someone else that went wrong, you need to look and see if you weren't the cause. Sometimes it might not seem like it, but we unknowingly put ourselves in a certain situation, which resulted in the said outcome. If you were wrong, acknowledge it and make peace with it.

2. Find out what your demons are and learn how to control them

We all have demons. By demons, I'm talking about your ego, envy and the list of other emotions that flood our head everyday. You need to find out who they are and how you can control them. When you envy someone else for having something you don't, do you ever stop to think that maybe having that thing in your life wouldn't be right for you or benefit you? Always take the time to consider what you are feeling and why. Then weigh up the pros and cons. Sometimes the emotion is unjustified.

3. Forgive yourself

We all blame ourselves for something or other. Something we did, something we said and many times it eats us up inside. We need to learn to forgive ourselves. We need to understand that sometimes, in this life, we will make mistakes. What we need to do is learn from them. Beating yourself up will not make you happy, but forgiving yourself will.

4. Forgiving the people that hurt you

Somewhere along the way, someone has hurt you. Maybe not physically but mentally and emotionally. You carry those feelings around with you and even though you don't realise it, it's causing you to devalue yourself. You need to forgive these people. We all make mistakes, some more than others, but you can't let them destroy your happiness. Write these people a letter, but don't give it to them, this way you are letting go without bringing them back into your life.

5. Accept yourself and your body

We are not all perfect. We will never be that supermodel in the magazines, hell neither will she, thanks Photoshop. But we have to accept our bodies and ourselves. Maybe you laugh to loud or your nose is crooked, but who cares? It makes you unique and it gives you character. Don't ever change for anyone! Be who you were born to be! Stand out of the crowd! 

6. Accept where you are in your life

You are 28 and your life doesn't seem to be where you thought it would be, right? Things definitely didn't goes as you planned? Well guess what? The best plans never do go the way you want. Accept that maybe you weren't supposed to do the things you wanted to do. That destiny decided your plan sucked and that this one you are on is better. Just be happy with your life now!

7. Give the love you want to receive

In the book The Secret, The Law of Attraction, is a big factor. What you give out into the universe, you will receive back. The same applies to love. If you love yourself, your life and others, all that will come back to you. Spread the love, be kind, be helpful and you will see those same things come back to you. 

8. Surround yourself with people who care about you

This is a big one. Being around people who care about you and your well being makes a huge difference on how we see ourselves. When you have people who consistently tell you how much they love and care for you, you feel like you can conquer the world. You will in turn spread that love to others. Your day will be brighter and you will be on top of the world.

9. Let go of the negative

For some this may be the hardest, because you will have to let go of all the things that hurt you. And almost always, it's people. There are many people who come into our lives just to cause unnecessary drama and anguish. Letting go of these bad people, is the only way to be happy. They serve no purpose in your life. 

10. Begin your day with love

Before you reach for your phone in the morning, like most of us do, stretch you muscles. Feel all your muscles moving and be grateful for your body. Tell your body, mind and soul you love it.Thank it for being in working order and thank it for being your home. Always have gratitude for your body.

11. Take time to meditate

Meditation takes a lot of practice, I know, but even just sitting still and quiet for a few moments each day will help you calm your mind. You have a million different thoughts running through your mind everyday and finding moments to just get some clarity will do you the world of good. 

12. Talk yourself happy

Affirmations can make a big impact on your life. Always keep it simple and easy to remember, so that at times when you are feeling low, you can repeat them to yourself. I have even taught my son one, which helps him at times when he gets frustrated. Try coming up with your own or do a google search. You will find millions to choose from. 

13. Find a self-help book that you can turn to

I know, some say these books don't help, but until you find the right one you may never know. There are thousands of them on the market, so take a few hours, and head to your favorite book store. Don't pick the first one you see and also don't pick the one the store clerk recommends. Choose one that speaks to you. Page through them, read a little and then make a decision. Just make sure it is a book you will use for years to come. One that has helped me is The Fairy Godmothers Guide to getting what you want. You can buy it HERE!

14. Have fun and forget your inhibitions

Many of us don't want to try new things, because our screwed up society tells us we can't! Well I'm telling you now, SCREW them. This story of girls not being able to do the things guys do and visa verso is SHIT! If you are a girl and you want to be a Mechanical Engineer, DO IT. If you are a guy and you want to be a Fashion Stylist, DO IT. Don't let anyone hold you back. Most importantly don't let YOU hold you back. Believe in yourself and what you are capable of.

15. Be patient with yourself

The process of learning to love yourself is not going to be easy. There will be hurdles and obstacles. It will take time. Time to learn and time to let go. But in the end it will all be worth it!

Theses are definitely not the be all and end all of learning to love yourself but these are things that have helped me and are still helping me. I hope that by following some, or all of these things, you will fall deeply in love with the incredible person you are. 

I would love to hear how you learn to love yourself.