Have you ever dealt with the demons inside your head? Do you even know they exist? Many people don't, but yet there are millions of people who deal with them everyday. These people, and they can be anyone, turn to the only thing that can help them escape. Inflicting pain on themselves.
What are these demons?
I use the word demons, because its the only word that will make you understand. Would you understand if I told you that I feel like "I'm not good enough" or that "I'm not popular enough"? Probably not. The thing is, what may seem to you like a dumb reason to inflict pain on your self, is the only way we can make the demons stop.
Do you know what it's like to go through life hearing the words "you're ugly" "you're fat" "you are worthless"? Some people might just let it roll off their back, but us, it goes right down into our core. Hear these words everyday and you start to believe them. They become these demons that consume your whole life. You believe you can't do anything cause you are worthless. You believe you could never have a boyfriend or girlfriend cause you are fat and ugly, so you don't even try. You get called gay or lesbian because of your sexuality. Your parents are getting divorced and the list goes on and and on! And in the end all just becomes too much to handle.
All you can do is sit in you room, door closed, and you inflict pain on yourself. Cause you see the pain you inflict on yourself causes you to forget about the demons for just a little while. Because the reality is you have no one to turn to. No one willing to listen. So you keep it a secret. Your own little secret.
How do you self harm, you may ask?
There are so many ways you can inflict pain on yourself so that no one will ever know. Here is a list of the most common:
* Cutting yourself
* Poisoning yourself
* Over eating and not eating
* Burning your skin
* Hitting walls
* Scratching yourself or pulling your own hair
Some of these may sound familiar... I've hit my fist on the wall when I've been angry. But have you ever stop to think about the cutting or burning your skin? I doubt it. See you won't see these things in public, because we will never show anyone. We hid it under bracelets and long sleeve tops. Or never wear shorts.
Please understand that inflicting pain on yourself is not a cry for attention or that wanting to end your life, its a coping mechanism.
This month is Awareness month for Self Harm. My hope is that everyone will stop judging each other, stop hating on each other. You might think it's funny to call someone a name, but think before you do. You don't know them, you don't know what they do behind close doors. Be Kind to one another.
To my fellow self harmers... You are not alone. Whether you are recovering (as I am) or if you still find the need to harm, know that someone out there can help. It is a long process, but with the right people in your life and people to guide you out of the darkness, you will see the light again.
Have you ever self harmed? I have have and I will share with you a picture of my arm. If only for encouragement, that you can heal and you can grow.
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| Scars are still there but less visible to everyone else |
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